The Anonymous Us Project
Anonymity in family formation hides the truth. Anonymity in story-telling reveals it.
March 21, 2016 07:54 PM PDT
"I Often Think of Him": The parent of a donor-conceived offspring confesses to her child that she thinks often of the donor she used, illuminating his importance in the outline of their small family.
"I Did the 'Right' Thing, Why Do I Feel So Horrible?": A former prospective mother tells of her intentions and near success in using a donor to conceive a child, her ultimate decision to cease the process, and the lingering sorrow that plagues with the absence of a child.
"Motivation": A sperm donor defends his motives for donation with statistics and his own perspective, insisting that most donors are not as maleficent in reality as they are portrayed in our language.
February 29, 2016 07:07 PM PST
"Fixing Birth Certificates": A third-party recounts the story of a friend who is currently advocating to exercise her right to have a birth certificate reflecting her genetic parentage.
"Open Egg Donation": A prospective parent is so moved by the narratives of struggle recounted by donor-conceived individuals that she or he has resolved to use only an open donor for her or his future child.
"I Feel Like You Are Thinking of Me, Too": An egg donor writes a letter intended for her daughter, who she severely yearns to know and love.Episode 40
February 15, 2016 03:53 PM PST
"Which is Worse...": A prospective parent is aghast at the pain donor children feel at the loss of their biological heritage.
"Donor-conceived and Barren": A donor-conceived child expresses terrible sadness at the loss of her/his biological father, and, due to infertility, the loss of any future biological children.
"Lost and Messed Up": A donor child admits that the absence of a biological father resulted in significant psychological difficulties.
"I Wonder": Desperately a donor-conceived child writes to her/his unknown siblings, wondering if they have ever given thought to their donor-conceived status.
"Possible Grandparent of Donated Baby": A prospective grandparent admits deep sadness at her/his son's infertility, which has resulted in his use of a sperm donor.Episode 39
February 01, 2016 07:42 PM PST
"All I Want for My Birthday": A donor-conceived child wishes for a conversation over coffee with her/his donor as a twenty-first birthday present.
"Don’t You DARE Hit MY Child!": Recounting an abusive incident from childhood, a donor-conceived individual posits the question of whether social fathers are more inclined to mistreat their donor-conceived offspring.
"Confused Donor": An egg donor finds the stories of donor children confusing and hesitatingly alarming as she considers her role in causing her children psychological hardship.Episode 38
January 18, 2016 04:41 PM PST
"10:22pm": In verse, a donor-conceived child expresses her/his discontentment regarding the contacting of donors and the difficulty in waiting for a response.
"I'm Not Your Real Father": An eighteen year old product of sperm donation recounts her/his struggles to seek the missing part of her/ his identity that lies in knowing her/his biological father.
"Re: Should I Go Down This Road?": Responding to a woman's query about informing her children of the truth of their conception, a donor-conceived child counsels her from the perspective of one with experience in the area of issue.Episode 37
January 04, 2016 08:31 PM PST
"If I Ever Told My Donor Another Thing It Would Be This:": A donor-conceived individual appeals to her/his sperm donor after he inaccurately assumes s/he desires an immediate and intimate connection.
"I Ate Less Tonight": After her/his mother snidely berates her/his body and eating habits, a donor-conceived child elaborates on the cause of the abuse, as it is a distraction from parental secrecy about siblings.Podcast 36
December 21, 2015 07:28 AM PST
“I Helped Start a Dozen Families”: A donor defends her/his donation by elaborating upon the pervasive anonymity of everyday life and human interaction.
“Found and Know My Own Bio Mom, Trying to Figure Out How to Support My Donor Conceived Child”: A mother who was adopted as a child comes to terms with raising a daughter that is donor conceived, and supporting her as she might one day search for her biological mother.Episode 35
December 07, 2015 10:31 AM PST
"I Shouldn't (and Don't Deserve) to Feel Alone": A donor-conceived student finds solidarity with a peer sharing a similar conception.
"No Longer Interested in DI": A man struggling with male factor infertility, despite the unrest his condition has caused within his life, chooses to forgo donor-conception on behalf of the potential offspring's well-being.Episode 34
November 16, 2015 08:39 PM PST
"To My Donor:": The looming possibility all donor children face regarding parental death becomes too much to bear after nightmares continue to occur of her/his biological father's dying.
"I Met the Child My Donation Made": An egg or sperm donor reflects on the uncomfortable experience of meeting biological offspring that desire an emotional connection.
"A Confession": After using an anonymous sperm donor, a social parent eventually uncovers his identity, and yet seems resolved in withholding it from his biological children indefinitely.
"It's Not About Me.": A donor-conceived individual enounces an observation that her/his social parents, and perhaps intoning broader implications, relied in vain upon donor-conception to solve or absolve their personal issues.Episode 33
November 02, 2015 11:16 AM PST
"I Am a Sperm Donor": A sperm donor relates his beliefs and opinions of the policies of the fertility industry, confessing his desire to contact his biological children.
"I Regret...": Following a diligent investigation into the identity of her/his biological father, a donor-conceived individual is disappointed in the result of the entire endeavor.
"The Good and the Bad": A donor-conceived child contacts her/his biological father and is, for a time, encouraged to believe contact will be lasting; however, this hope is destroyed as complications develop within the relationship.
The Anonymous Us Project is a safety zone for real and honest opinions about reproductive technologies and family fragmentation. We aim to share the experiences of voluntary and involuntary participants in these technologies, while preserving the dignity and privacy for story-tellers and their loved ones.
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